


Wake Me With the Morning's Light

by notmyyacht



Category: My Soul to Take (2010)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:53:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmyyacht/pseuds/notmyyacht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abel closed his eyes, hoping that when he died, the Ripper went with him. He wasn't so lucky.</p><p>--</p><p>A continuation of Abel's story from after the ambulance crash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They Never Found His Body

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for every Abel fan who felt like they got cheated out of a story that could have centered on his character.
> 
> Ratings and tags may change.

"I got Plenkov!" was the last thing he heard as the man in question sunk below the surface of the lake. Anything further was muffled.

 _At last,_ Abel thought, _at last it's over._

He couldn't see the surface, everything was too dark. But the water was cool and calm, as if God was forgiving him by letting him die peacefully.

Abel couldn't feel the others anymore. He wasn't sure where they went, but they were out of the Ripper's reach now and that's all that mattered.

The Ripper had been the one who got them out of the ambulance, but the crash itself allowed Abel the chance to take control. He had stumbled into the lake, putting as much space between the Ripper and the police. _To protect them_.

Abel closed his eyes, hoping that when he died, the Ripper went with him. He wasn't so lucky.

Just as Abel could feel oblivion start to engulf him, his body tensed and he was swimming to the surface against his will.

Arms he was not controlling grabbed onto the mud and twigs of the bank. The Ripper hoisted them up, coughing up water and trying to catch his breath.

"Did you... think... that it... was going to be... that easy?" the Ripper snarled between breaths and coughs. He rolled onto his back, sucking in the crisp night air.

"Doesn't matter," said Abel, "with our injuries... we're going to die soon anyway."

"No," the Ripper growled and sat up. He winced and nearly buckled over, but was able to get to his feet.  He smirked, "No, Abel. We're close enough to the hospital. We can walk the rest of the way and then patch you up good."

"We've already lost too much blood. We'll never make it."

The Ripper chuckled.

"Have a little faith, kid."

 

Abel passed out halfway to the hospital.

When he woke up he was lying half naked in a room used for physicals. He squinted. The lights far too bright. He blinked a few times, allowing his vision to focus. When it did, he finally noticed May standing over him, needle and thread in hand.

His abdomen itched and his body was sore all over. An iv and a needle connected his arm to a packet of blood. Abel, more awake, put the pieces together. The Ripper must have somehow gotten May to patch him up. _Oh my God!_

"May?"

"Almost done," she said. May was fully concentrated on Abel's wounds. She was excellent nurse. Almost a doctor, Abel recalled. Once Sarah had mentioned how surprised everyone in their family was when May changed her mind and started studying to be a nurse instead.

_Sarah..._

Abel swallowed thickly. May tied off the stitches and started to apply a bandage to it. She didn't seem frightened. God, what had the Ripper told her?

"May, how did I get here?"

May froze.

"May," Abel's voice trembled, "w-what happened?"

For the first time since Abel woke up in the hospital, she looked him in the eye. There was the fear Abel hadn't seen in her eyes before. Covered with her desire to heal. May is a healer, always was. At least, that's what Sarah used to say.

"What did I say to you? Are there police outside?"

"No, Abel. Just you and me."

"And _him_."

"Him? Abel, you cornered me and told me that you'd kill me like Sarah if..." May's eyes welled up, "if... if I didn't fix your wounds."

A few tears rolled down her face. Abel's chest tightened. He had done that.

He turned away and his eyes absently fell on the blood-covered bullet on the tray beside them.

"I'm so sorry, May. I didn't want any of this to happen." His voice cracked. May's brow furrowed. "If I hadn't called Dr. Blake... he wouldn't have killed Sarah."

"What?" May took a step back.

Abel never discussed with anyone in his adult life about his illness other than therapists he's had, namely Dr. Blake.

May had to understand. There was no other choice.

Abel wiped his wet cheeks -he hadn't even noticed that he started crying- and quickly got his bearings. Now or never.

"When I was 16, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia." There. That wasn't so bad.

May stared at him intently. She opened her mouth to say something, but Abel cut her off.

"I never told you or Sarah because I didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to know she married a crazy person. I was never violent so I thought that if I could keep it under control then she would never need to know. Dr. Blake said that I should tell her. God, was he right."

"Do you... hear voices?" she asked.

"Only seven. It's strange. For the first time I can't hear them anymore. The only one still with me is..." Abel trailed off. Was it still inside of him? Did it leave when he got to the hospital? No, it threatened May. It was still inside of him. Abel felt queasy.

"Abel?"

He looked up at her.

"Are you," she sounded hesitant, as if by asking she could set off a bomb, "...are you the Riverton Ripper?"

A stray tear rolled down Abel's cheek and he said, "I think I am."

"You think?"

"I don't remember hurting anyone but there's someone," Abel gently rubs his temple, "and he killed Sarah and Dr. Blake. He tried to kill Leah, but I wouldn't let him." He drops his hand, deliberately brushing his knuckles against his chest. "God, May, I am so sorry! I couldn't stop him- I couldn't-!"

A knock on the door immediately shut Abel up.

"May?"

May's eyes widened and she nearly ran to the door. She cracked it open, attempting to block out with her body any view the nurse could get of Abel.

"May, we really need a hand in here," said the nurse.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes."

The nurse stood on her toes to try and see who was more important than six women going into labor at the same time.

 _"Abel, tell the bitch to hurry up. We have work to do_." Abel's jaw clenched at the graveled voice in the back of his mind.

"I won't be long," May assured the nurse before closing the door. She returned to Abel's side to finish applying the bandage over the gunshot wound.

"May-"

"Shut up for a moment," she snapped. At last, her arms fell to her sides. "There, all done. I would advise you to rest and stay the night for observation, but you're probably not going to do either are you?"

Abel quickly weighed his options. Try to turn himself in and the monster inside of him would surely kill May and anybody else who got in his way. Or he could run.

His gaze landed on the bloody ripper knife he hadn't noticed was in the hand he kept at his side.

_"What are you going to do, Abel?"_

Run. He had no choice.

"I have to leave," said Abel. In one swift motion he closed the knife and pocketed it. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the table. He flinched as he got to his feet, gently cradling his stomach.

May helped him remove the iv.

"You should be resting," he heard her mumble to herself.

Abel picked up what was left of his shirt and stared down at it. It was still damp, but at least his dip in the lake had washed out some of the blood. He hesitantly pulled it over his head. The fabric uncomfortably clung to his body and bandages, but he didn't have time to get new clothes right now.

"It's probably best I don't tell you where I'm going," he said.

"Then it's probably best that I pretend that you were never here." May wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back.

They could hear the bustling of doctors and nurses scurrying about from outside the room.

"Sounds like a busy night. You should probably go."

He watched May walk over to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. She looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Abel, I want you to promise me that whatever happens, no matter what, that you'll never come back to Riverton."

Abel regarded the Ripper. Would he promise? Probably not.

"I'll try not to."

"No, I need your word." May's voice was low. Abel couldn't recall a time she sounded so serious. She continued, "I didn't save your life just now because I think you're innocent. Not even because you threatened to kill me if I didn't. I saved your life because my sister would have begged me to if she were here. So promise me you'll never intercede with what's left of her. Leave Leah alone. Leave Riverton alone and never look back."

Abel nodded, trying to fight back tears.

"I promise."

May gripped the doorknob and said, "Wait five minutes then go."

She quickly opened the door and nearly slammed it behind her.


	2. The Wanderer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to be longer and get further in Abel's journey, but I liked where I stopped. I guess that just means more chapters than I originally intended.

Sneaking out of the hospital had been relatively simple thanks to the over-abundance of births keeping the whole building buzzing. Abel merely kept his head down and walked straight out the front door. No one even noticed him.

Abel walked along the dirt road, arms wrapped around himself. The chill November air blew right through him. It didn't help that his shirt was still damp. He shivered and wished he grabbed a blanket or something before leaving the hospital.

It was well after midnight and Abel was exhausted by the time he reached the highway. He passed a sign that read in big, green letters: NOW LEAVING RIVERTON.

Abel regarded the sign a moment before continuing on by it.

Now leaving Riverton. Didn't he just get there? It was only a little over a year since the Plenkov family moved in. They had lived in Boston before. Neither Abel or Sarah cared for city life. They liked the idea of living in a small town.

May lived in Riverton, so they would at least know somebody and not be complete strangers to the town. Dr. Blake also lived there, but Abel never told Sarah that. It was convenient for both of them.

Sarah immediately fell in love with the small town. The outdoors, the community, everything. Abel loved Riverton because Sarah loved it. He enjoyed the quietness compared to the nosiness of the city, but that was all. He never felt he was a part of the community. There used to be time. Time to make friends. Time to fall in love with it as much as Sarah did. Now he was leaving it all.

Abel eventually stopped walking to get some rest. He leaned against a tree and fell asleep almost instantly.

 

It was noon when Abel awoke. The sun was high enough in the sky that it shone in his eyes and disturbed his exhausted slumber.

He cracked his eyes open. He still felt tired and sore, but at least his clothes were now completely dry and it was warmer out than the night before. His stomach emitted a loud growl. He cringed and ran a hand through his frizzy hair. The thought of a nice, long, hot shower crossed his mind.

Abel groaned and got to his feet. The gunshot wound from the night before throbbed in pain like a punch to the gut. He fell back against the tree and clutched a hand over it, wishing he had asked May for some painkillers before he left.

Last night had gone by so fast, there seemed no time for anything. Abel lifted his shirt. Nothing torn. This bandages probably needed changing, but they didn't look so bad. He pushed any worrying thoughts about infection to the back of his mind and started on his way again.

The roads were quiet, with the occasional car passing by. Abel looked at the never-ending road ahead of him.

He wasn't going to last long if he continued like this.

The Ripper was silent, offering no advice. Not even any snide remarks. Everything was so quiet.

From behind him, Abel could hear the sound of an approaching car. He kept his hand by his side and allowed it to pass.

He couldn't hitchhike. It was less of the thought that the driver could be some psycho, and more of the thought that the Ripper would come out and kill them. On the other hand, he didn't have many other options.

It wasn't long before Abel heard another car.

He closed his eyes and whispered, "Please don't hurt them."

Cautiously, Abel stuck out his thumb.

The screeching of the car beside him made Abel open his eyes. He peered into the open window.

Inside was a man in his mid-thirties, wearing a Red Sox cap. He was alone in his Chevy.

"Where you heading?" the driver asked.

"Um..." Abel paused. Where _was_ he going?

_To Pluto_ , he thought. He wanted to go somewhere he couldn't hurt anyone; he never thought of anywhere specific. The driver eyed him, making Abel uncomfortably shift his weight from one foot to the other.

"As far from here as I can," he finally replied.

The driver smiled and opened the passenger door.

"Well hop on in, friend! I'm heading to Philly." The driver's face broke into a big smile. A mixed feeling of relief and fear washed over Abel as he climbed in.

"The name's Larry Beacher." Larry offered his hand. Abel took it, his own name catching in his throat. He'll be wanted. Best not to use his own name.

"Adam... Hellermen." Abel's chest tightened. It had been the first name to pop into his head; his unborn son's name and his wife's maiden name. He immediately regretted it, but it was too late.

"Nice to meet you Adam," said Larry with a friendly grin.

Larry told him all about how he was from Maine and was visiting family in Philadelphia. He told him about his nieces and his small business owner brother and his witch of a sister-in-law. Abel just sat there and listened, simply hoping that Larry would survive the trip and be able to see his family again.

Larry wasn't married. He only had his brother's family, but despite the physical distance between them they were all pretty close. Abel envied him for a moment.

Abel was alone now. He killed his family. When Abel's new friend was done talking about himself, he started asking Abel about his life.

Larry was either nosey or perhaps he was just really curious about this strange disheveled man from the side of the road. Either way, every answer Abel gave was a lie.

He told friendly Larry that he was from Rhode Island. That he was looking for work. He tried to avert any question relating to why he was in the situation that he was. Larry didn't take the hint.

"So what did your wife kick you out or somethin'?"

Abel covered the gold band still around his finger.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he said, looking out the window.

"She cheat on you? You cheat on her? What's the deal?"

'Friendly' Larry was starting to get on Abel's nerves. At least Larry didn't ask him about the faint blood stains on his shirt. Though perhaps he just didn't notice. Abel kept his arms around himself most of the time.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, c'mon, Adam!"

Abel clenched his jaw and decided to give in just so Larry would shut up about it.

"I lost her, alright? She's dead and it's... it's my fault." Abel's voice was soft but stable.

Larry went quiet for a moment.

"I'm- I'm sorry man." Larry did sound sorry. Abel suddenly felt bad about being angry with him. "But you know, you shouldn't blame yourself."

Abel bit his tongue to keep down a nervous laugh.

The ride got quiet after that. At one point Larry asked if it was alright to put the radio on. Abel was grateful. Better that than to be alone in his thoughts.

God, his head was so quiet. Still no sign of the Ripper since the night before and Abel almost wished that he would start chatting away just to fill the silence in his head.

He wondered: Was this what normal people's heads are like? Quiet with only your own thoughts to talk to you? For the first time, Abel wished that the others were with him. To comfort him and tell him that he wasn't crazy. It wasn't just Abel's head that felt empty, it was his soul. He'd never felt more alone than he did sitting in a car with a stranger, not sure what to do next.

Larry had turned the radio to a quiet oldies station. The music and words became a quiet hum that lulled Abel to sleep.

 

Abel eyes flew open and he nearly jumped out of his seat. His first observation was that the car wasn't moving. How long was he out? Where was Larry!?

Anxiety rose in his throat. Then he spotted Larry walking towards the car. They had only stopped at a gas station. Abel relaxed into his seat with a sigh.

Larry got in and smiled at him.

"You're awake. Just had to stop and get some gas. You hungry?"

"Yeah, sure." Abel had barely eaten anything all day. Larry had offered Abel some beef jerky earlier, which Abel had devoured in less than a minute. It would be nice to eat some actual food.

It took a moment before he realized Larry wasn't starting the car or saying anything. He turned to look at him.

"What...?"

Larry was staring at his abdomen. Abel looked down and cursed under his breath. His body was in a constant state of soreness since the night before, he barely noticed that he had pulled anything.

"Hey man, you're bleeding," Larry said at last.

Abel's breath staggered. God, he hoped Larry wouldn't faint.

"You got a first aid?" he asked. Larry nodded, eyes not leaving the red spot leaking through Abel's shirt.

"You going to be okay?" Larry got out of the car to grab the first aid in the back.

Abel unbuckled his seat belt and lifted his shirt. He removed the bandage to inspect the damage. Luckily the stitches weren't torn, but one of the smaller knife wounds had opened up. He really should have thought about snatching a few things before leaving the hospital.

Larry came around the car and opened Abel's door.

"Here. Let me see," he said to Abel's surprise. He turned and allowed Larry to clean him up and reapply a fresh bandage. Abel opened his mouth to ask.

"I may not look it, but I got into a lot of fights when I was a kid," Larry explained, "My mom hated it. She hated it so much, one day she told me that she wasn't going to patch me up anymore. That I had to learn to do this sort of thing myself. So, the next time I had my yearly physical, I asked my doctor if he could teach me a thing or two sometime and he agreed." Larry looked up and winked. "Small town. My doc and I were on a friendly level so it was no problem."

The corner of Abel's mouth turned upward. There was more to Larry Beacher than what met the eye.

"There. Done. Sorry I don't have any painkillers for ya, Adam."

Abel lowered his shirt.

"It's okay. I'm fine." He winced as he leaned back in the car seat.

Larry crossed his arms. "Ya sure about that? Whatever you've been through, man, it doesn't look very good."

"I'll be fine."

"Uh-huh." Larry rolled his eyes, closed the passenger side door, and returned to the driver's seat.

 

It wasn't long until the sky got dark and Larry admitted he was getting tired. They were roughly halfway to Philadelphia.

Abel offered to drive so they wouldn't have to spend money on a motel room.

"You sure you'll be okay at the wheel?" Larry quirked an eyebrow.

"It's not so bad right now," Abel replied with a confident smile. He meant it. He was getting used to the dull aching in his abdomen and chest. Larry wearily agreed and they pulled over to switch places.

Abel found driving rather relaxing. It was normal. He used to just drive around Riverton sometimes when he needed time to himself. He didn't do it as often once Sarah was pregnant again, just so he could be at her side in an instant if she needed him.

It was the only time the others wouldn't under any circumstances distract him. It was one of the few times Abel could be by himself with a comfortably clear head.

 

* * *

 

Abel wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep. All he knew when he woke up was that his head was pounding and that they were no longer moving.

He gently raised a hand to dab at his temple. He pulled it back and saw that his fingers were covered in blood. His eyes went wide and he scrambled to unbuckle himself.

The Chevy was off the road in a ditch, the front scrunched up against a tree and smoke was pillaring toward the sky.

He whimpered Larry's name and turned to the passenger side. His mouth went dry. Larry wasn't breathing... or moving. He was leaning forward slightly, his seat belt the only thing keeping him in. His bright blue eyes stared straight ahead at nothing. 

"Larry?" Abel whispered, his voice hoarse.

That's when he noticed the bright, wet redness that spilled all over Larry's front. Blood dripped from the slash around his neck onto his chest.

_No, no, no, no!_

Panic rose in Abel's throat and he reached into his pocket to check the Ripper knife.

_Please God no!_

Sure enough, it was coated in fresh blood.


	3. Go Back to Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took longer. I just really wasn't happy with it (I'm still not completely happy with it), but I hope the next chapter will be better. 
> 
> There might be a rating change in the near future, just FYI.

He glanced over at the man in the passenger seat. It was nearly two in the morning and Larry was sound asleep. He regarded the music playing on the radio, set on a soft and smooth oldies station. He rolled his eyes and turned it off.

The silence was deafening. He smirked. _Good._

Though apparently not good for Larry, who stirred. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"How long was I out?" he asked.

"Not long enough," was the muttered reply.

"Huh?" Larry squinted at radio, realizing that it had been turned off.

"I said only a few hours. It's still late. Go back to sleep."

"Nah, I think I'll be up for a bit."

"I said go back to sleep, Larry," the deep growling leaked through on Larry's name. Realizing his mistake, the hands on the wheel tightened and his jaw clenched.

Larry stared at him. "You okay, Adam?"

He wanted to laugh. _Adam_. How stupid was Abel to call himself after his son? His dead son. How stupid was Abel that he thought that they would part with Larry without spilling blood first? A soft chuckle escaped through his teeth.

"Adam?"

"What!?" he snapped.

Larry recoiled in his seat.

"Just wanted to know if you're okay. You seem tired. Do you want me to take over?"

"No."

"Oh, um... okay." Larry focused his gaze on the road ahead of them. There weren't any other cars in front or behind them. Larry had the strange urge to want to get out of the car and get as far away from Adam as he possibly could. He shook his head, thinking he's just being paranoid. Adam is just tired and he's been through a lot. Everything's fine.

And then, everything wasn't fine.

Larry's eye caught a glance at the next exit sign. That couldn't be right.

"Adam?"

"What now?"

"I think we missed an exit."

"No we didn't." The man known to Larry as Adam stiffened in his seat and licked his lips.

"Yeah we did. That's the wrong exit. We should be on exit 95. That was... where are we?" Paranoia nibbled at the back of Larry's mind, and while he never jumped out of a moving vehicle before, the thought was starting to sound extremely appealing.

"Shut up, I know where I'm going." This time he didn't bother to try and sound like Abel. He had grown weary of Larry and weary of trying to act for him. It didn't matter.

The unexpected deep voice sent a chill up Larry's spine. Keeping his eyes on the hitchhiker, he groped for the door handle. Screw it, he was jumping. He pulled at it, but the door didn't budge. He pulled again. Nothing.

Larry took his eyes off of the hitchhiker for a moment. The door was locked. He couldn't even try pulling the knob up to unlock it manually because someone had broken the top off.

"Shit!"

"What's the matter, Larry?" the deep voice asked.

Larry slowly turned to the man in the driver's seat. His mouth gaped open at the raised knife in the other man's hand. Larry screamed and the knife came down, slitting Larry's throat.

The Ripper laughed as the blood sprayed over the dashboard and onto his arms. He pocketed the knife and continued laughing. His eyes were no longer on the road, but he didn't care that he lost control of the car long enough for them to drive off the pavement and into a grassy ditch. The front of the car smashed into one of the thicker trees on the edge of the road.

 

* * *

 

Abel attempted to slam himself against his door, but it was no use. The glass was cracked and the door itself was jammed.

"Come... _on!_ " he slammed himself against the door again. It refused to budge. Abel glanced over at Larry's corpse. He slowly moved to check for a pulse -just in case. He fingers brushed against Larry's wrist.

Abel gasped and immediately drew his hand back. Larry's body was still _warm_. Bile rose in Abel's throat and he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to keep it down. He took in a few deep breaths and tried to relax. He moved to check again. No pulse. Larry was dead. Abel allowed his hand to drop into his lap and he looked around.

The streets were dark and unoccupied. No ambulances, no fire department, and no police had been called yet.

_My fingerprints are all over this_ , Abel thought, _what the hell am I going to do?_

" _Let me take care of it_ ," said the gravelly voice in the back of his mind.

"We'll be caught this time," said Abel.

" _I'll take care of it, Abel_."

"And what about Larry?"

Abel could almost feel the Ripper smirking.

" _Don't worry about him. Leave it all to_ me." The end of that statement sounded like an attempt to sooth Abel, which only made him more anxious.

" _Now_ ," said the Ripper, " _get out of the car and let me take over_."

Abel turned himself, back to the body in the passenger seat, and leaned against the dead mound of flesh. He tried not to think of the blood on the body getting in his hair and sticking to the back of his head. Abel kicked at the window. The glass creaked. His shoulder pressed up against Larry's. He clenched his jaw and kicked at the window over and over until it finally gave way and shattered.

Abel nearly flew off his seat and scrambled to get through the window. He went legs first. Pieces of glass caught on his clothes and scrapped against his skin, but he was out of the car in less than a minute. 

He landed on all fours in the soft grass and desperately crawled over to the other side of the tree. He didn't notice the cold night wind blowing through him. He leaned against the tree and vomited.

When there was nothing left in his stomach to heave, Abel fall backwards into the soft grass. Before he blacked out he heard the familiar voice say, " _Don't worry, Abel. It'll be like we were never here_."

 

Leah always was a quiet child. Somehow that made it easier for May. Leah never asked where her parents were. She just allowed her aunt to take her by the hand. May prayed that over time Leah would forget that horrible night. Perhaps it was good that she was only four.

May lifted the child into her arms and pointed through the glass. What she was specifically pointing to was a baby wrapped in a blue blanket and cap, sound asleep.

"You see him, Leah?" May smiled. Leah stared at the baby and said nothing. "That's your baby brother, Adam."

It was there and gone in a flash, but May could have sworn that there was a hint of a smile in the corner of Leah's mouth. The baby yawned.

"He looks like a bug," said Leah.

 

The first thing Abel realized when he came out of the dark haze was that he was cold. The pain from his self-inflicted wounds and the gunshot was virtually gone and his head was no longer pounding. He reached up to touch his temple. His head was dry and there didn't seem to be any sign of injury there.

Did he make the whole crash up?  

That's when Abel took in his surroundings. There were people everywhere. A lot of people. A majority of them asleep and curled up against walls or in cardboard boxes. They were under a bridge. Overhead Abel could hear the passing of a train, which caused a bit of dust from the aging concrete to fall on their heads.

Abel brushed the few grains out of his hair. He, himself, was dressed completely different. Instead of the basic shirt and pants he had left the hospital with, Abel now wore a hoodie and a pair of worn jeans. Even the shirt he was wearing underneath was different (a v-neck black tee). His shoes felt tight. Abel lifted one of his feet to examine why. He paused.

The Nike check he had seen before. Recently. Larry's shoes. Abel spotted a small dry droplet of blood on the toe. He lowered his foot and pressed his lips together in a firm line.

"You okay?" said a voice to his right. Abel hadn't even noticed that there was someone sitting a few inches from him. They were the only two wide awake and sitting in front of a bonfire in a trash can.

"You look a little shaky," the man continued. Abel glanced around again. "You'll get used to this."

"Get used to what?" asked Abel.

"Bein' homeless." The man fiddled with a coin, passing it between both hands and in-between his fingers.

"How long have I been here?" Abel murmured.

At last, the man turned to look him in the eye. He grinned and lightly chuckled. "Ah, so there it is then."

"There's what?"

"You told me you had memory problems. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Feeling nauseous. I... was in an accident." Abel licked his dry lips.

"Here," the man leaned to his side and pulled out a water bottle and handed it to Abel, "drink this."

Abel regarded the plastic, nearly-full bottle with a wrinkled nose. The liquid itself seemed clear, but he couldn't say the same for the bottle.

"Oh go on. I promise I didn't piss in it," said the man, nudging Abel in the shoulder. Abel's dry throat won over logic and he quickly unscrewed the top and chugged the water down. He swallowed about half of the bottle's contents before lowering it.

The man stuck his hand out.

"We already introduced ourselves, but I guess you don't remember that, right Adam?" Adam again. The Ripper introduced himself as that. As _Adam_.

"Yeah, I suppose not." Abel shook the man's hand.

"Well, I'm Karron. Billy Karron, but nobody but my mom calls me 'Billy'. Especially nobody here."

Karron's hand was warm and strangely comforting to Abel.

"Nice to meet you Karron-" might as well be consistent "-I'm Adam."

Karron smiled at him, his bright blue eyes shining in the light of the fire.

"I think you're gonna like it here, Adam."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive feedback! It helps keep me going with this. I'll try to get to the next chapter faster than this one took me.


	4. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to update. Probably because not much happens and to be honest, I felt like I could have done a hell of a lot more with it, but I think I've kept you guys waiting for an update long enough. If you haven't noticed, I changed a few things regarding pairings and such.

_He could almost touch her. Her laughter rang in his ears. The softness of her hair..._ Sarah _. Blood everywhere. Screams that echo in the house... Gone now. Gone forever..._

A hand shook Abel awake. He sat up and looked around.

Oh right.

Karron told him to get up; that they were going to the soup kitchen. Abel didn't want to move, but his stomach ached. When was the last time he ate?

Abel stood up and walked with Karron to the soup kitchen on the edge of town.

By the time they got there, a line was already formed. Karron clapped Abel on the shoulder and pulled him up next to him.

"Looks like stew today," he said with a smile.

Abel forced a smile back and waited patiently in line behind Karron. As they got closer, Abel's stomach churned. He closed his eyes and inhaled. That saltiness... _'Abel? Could you help me out in here?'_   The rich broth. Sarah smiling over the pot. She brings a spoon to his lips to taste. It's perfect. He tells her so...

He opened his eyes. The stew handed to him isn't Sarah's cooking, but he takes it just the same.

Abel sat across from Karron. He stared down into his stew, the brown muck no longer as appetizing as it was moments ago. Abel's stomach twisted in hunger. He picked up the spoon and shoved it under a chunk of potato and brought it to his lips.

A hand grabbed his before he could take his first bite.

"Hey, bud. You might wanna blow on it first," said Karron.

"Oh." But Abel didn't move. He just continued to stare down at the potato.

"Here, like this," Karron pulled the hand Abel was holding the spoon with closer to him. He puckered his lips and blew gently on the potato. His breath brushed against Abel's fingers. Abel could feel his cheeks warming.

"There," said Karron as he released Abel's hand, "now try it."

Eager to hide his embarrassment, he shoved the potato into his mouth.

Karron grinned. "See? You'd burn your mouth if you eat it too quickly without blowing it."

Abel nodded and continued to eat his stew in silence. Karron started rambling about the weather and politics. Abel didn't pay much attention other to the sound of Karron's voice. He had a rough smoker's voice but a kind openness to it. Karron couldn't be more than a few years older than Abel. Ten at the most. Karron's sandy blond hair blended well with the touch of silver poking out in patches on the side of his head. Karron's strong jaw was covered in a darker stubble that matched his eyebrows and lashes.

As they walked back to Karron's spot under the bridge, Abel noticed how much _taller_ his new friend was. He guessed 6-foot-two.

Karron was the type of person who smiled with his whole face, with his lips pulled back to reveal surprisingly straight teeth, and eyes that crinkled at the edges. Not a single smile ever seemed not genuine. Abel mulled over how much he liked that smile.

 

The Ripper remained silent for over a month.

In that time Abel learned more about his new friend, Karron. 'Friend.' A word Abel never thought he'd be able to use again.

He quickly learned that Karron liked the sound of his own voice, but he also liked to hear Abel's opinion on whatever he was talking about. Abel wouldn't get too detailed in his responses. Not because he didn't have stronger opinions on whatever Karron would bring up, but because he feared he'd reveal too much. He never talked about himself and Karron never pushed. Abel was grateful for that. In return he never asked anything too personal about Karron.

Even when his curiosity nagged at him to ask about Karron's life before living on the streets, he would remind himself that it was for the best that they kept their pasts close to the chest. That Abel couldn't afford to get close to someone, not without the Ripper taking that someone away.

However, Abel's new friend doubled as a mentor and showed him the ropes. He showed him how to make a cardboard box a home with a sleeping bag and ratty pillow. How to conserve water. He taught him how to keep warm in various ways.

"If it ever gets too cold, don't be shy. I won't mind if you need to share body heat," Karron once said with a playful wink that make Abel's cheeks flush pink. Abel wasn't really sure if he was kidding or not.

He found out one night in mid-December. They found out on the radio one of their fellow homeless folks had that a freezing cold front was heading their way. There was even a chance for snow.

Abel sat in front of the fire and imagined what it would be like to freeze to death. Karron sat down beside him, their shoulders bumping.

"I hope I die in my sleep," said Abel. "That's what happens right? The cold makes you tired then you die in your sleep?"

Karron laughed.

"We're not going to die. You wanna talk freezing winters? Last winter was fuckin' bad and we're all still here, aren't we?" He gently elbowed Abel in the ribs. A smile played in the corner of Abel's mouth.

"The big bad snow storm won't get you, Adam. I promise," Karron said in a baby talk voice with his lips pursed.

Abel rolled his eyes and shook his head. Karron put a hand on his back between the shoulder blades, the warmth from it was comforting.

"No, but I'm serious, Adam," he said, "we're going to be just fine."

To say that it was fucking freezing out that night would have been an understatement.

Abel curled himself into a ball, his teeth chattering and his body shivering. Karron had told him to try to daydream about warm places, so he could trick his body into thinking he was there.

A beach, he thought, in the middle of summer. Sarah in a bikini and little Leah trying to chase the waves. The sun beating down on them. So hot. The sand between his toes is almost scalding...

A gust of wind blew through the camp, making the fires flicker. Abel could not huddle into himself any further. It wasn't enough.

"Adam." A hand on Abel's arm rolls him onto his back. His eyes crack open.

"I... can't stop shaking," he muttered through his teeth.

"Here." Karron lay down next to Abel and pulled him close so their bodies were pressed up against one another, chest-to-chest. Abel immediately wrapped his arms around Karron's middle.

"Better?" Karron asked, burying his face in Abel's hair. Abel hummed a yes.

"T-thank you," he said.

"Don't mention it."

The exchange of body heat was working. Abel relaxed against the body against him. He found Karron's warm breath on the top of his head was strangely soothing.

As winter set in, they found themselves sleeping next to each other more often. Abel didn't want to give Karron the wrong idea so he would try sleeping on his own, only to get up in the middle of the night to snuggle with his friend.

Snuggle. Being able to do that was oddly wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

The Ripper stayed silent throughout the holiday season.

On Christmas Eve, Goodwill brought them hot food and coffee, along with thicker blankets than what they had been coping with. Karron made sure that Abel got one. Almost as soon as it was handed to him, Karron bounded to Abel's side and wrapped the blanket around Abel's shoulders. He sat down next to him so their knees and shoulders bumped together.

"Thank you," said Abel as he relaxed against Karron's side. He glanced around. "Didn't you get yourself one?" he asked.

Karron shrugged.

"I'll be okay. Other people deserve 'em more than me. The blanket I'm using now will be fine."

Karron unfolded a newspaper he had carried under his arm. Abel sipped at his coffee.

"Huh, Adam, check this out." Karron was reading from a newspaper, "'NORTHEAST KILLER STRIKES AGAIN'."

Abel froze in his spot.

"Have you heard of this, Adam?"

"No." Abel didn't want to hear this, whatever it was. Karron continued anyway.

"This time it was in Connecticut. 'Last Monday, the body of a teenager was discovered on the side of a highway. He had been gutted. Police are refusing to give any details...' blah blah blah."

"How old is that paper?" Abel asked, trying to keep his voice calm. Karron flipped the paper to look at the date.

"Earlier this week's."

Abel let out a sigh of relief. If it was over a month old, he would have been worried.

"Nah, don't let it get to you," said Karron, tossing the paper into the fire, "this killer has been targeting teenagers. You're not a teenager. You have nothing to worry about." He wrapped an arm around Abel's shoulders.

"Besides, I wouldn't let the fucker hurt you if he -or she- tried." He grinned ear-to-ear. Abel forced a smile.

_It's not the Northeast Killer you need to worry about, but the Riverton Ripper_ , he thought looking down at his half-empty cup of coffee.

Karron clinked his cup with Abel's, causing the younger man to look at him.

"Merry Christmas, Adam." Karron's eyes shined in the firelight.

Abel had been trying to push the warm and fuzzy feelings away that he felt whenever Karron looked at him, but how could he? He was lying to himself and to Karron. He'll eventually find out one way or another. He'll find out that the man he'd befriended was a monster.

This nice warmth won't last forever, he scolded himself. For all he knew, he could wake up on Christmas morning and find Karron gutted next to him.

The Ripper made not a peep to these thoughts. He wasn't completely gone. He couldn't be. But it was Christmas so for now, Abel allowed himself to genuinely smile back.

"Merry Christmas, Karron."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being so patient with me!
> 
> I do want to see this fic through to the end and I will try to post new chapters more often. Just life keeps happening, y'know. But if it helps, I've got future chapters outlined so I know where I want it to go. However, I'm very open to suggestions so please let me know if you guys have any :D


	5. To Be at Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm finally updating this! I'm not going to let this fic die. I really want to see it through until the end. Hopefully I won't take as long with the next chapter. I have an idea of where I want this to go, but feedback would be much appreciated!
> 
> Take note the tag changes. This chapter deals with suicide, so be mindful of that.

Karron looked so beautiful in the early morning sunlight. The light behind his blonde hair gave him an almost angelic quality to him. He was curled up, still asleep, and facing Abel. His gloved hand covered Abel's.

Abel remembered that they fell asleep the night before like this. Karron had looked at him with such affection. Abel wanted to return it so badly, but the fear in his heart glossed caution over him. The Ripper was still there, biding his time. It was only a matter of when he would strike, and when he did, he would kill the one person he had grown so attached to so quickly.

Last night he realized that he couldn't do this anymore.

Abel slowly slipped his hand out from under Karron's and sat up. He looked around. Most of the others were still asleep, save for a couple who were warming their hands by a fire.

He got to his feet, nearly knocking over the half-empty bottle of champagne Karron had swiped from the liquor store. Abel eyed the bottle. Karron had been so excited that they were going to be spending New Year's Eve together. Abel almost wanted to hate how lonely Karron was. It made him doubt his affections, that maybe he was just being used; and when Karron grew bored of him, he would move on to somebody else.

It didn't matter. Karron had been the only one who would take him in without questioning his past. Whether or not either loved the other, they _needed_ each other.

_And now it's time I go_ , thought Abel, _before that monster sees just how close I've gotten to you. Before he can take your life away. I can't afford to need you anymore._

Abel wished he had paper or something so he could leave Karron a note, explaining how dangerous he was and why he was leaving him like this. It wasn't fair, but then again, nothing in Abel's life seemed to be fair.

He didn't dare kiss Karron goodbye.

 

Suicide seemed like a logical option. After leaving his almost lover, Abel walked along the train tracks. And walked. And walked. And walked until he came upon another bridge the tracks crossed. It was far higher up than the one the homeless folk lived under.

Abel stood at the edge and looked down. A small stream flowed under. A clear, pure stream that one could easily see the bottom of. He started to feel dizzy just looking down at it.

_Don't you fucking dare,_ a familiar voice emerged from the darkest corners of his mind.

"Hello again. Been a while." For once, Abel wasn't afraid. He was confronting what he feared for so long. He could feel how angry the Ripper was, but he didn't care.

_I'm surprised you didn't stay with your boyfriend. What's the matter, afraid I'd gut him?_

"I'm not even going to give you the chance for that." Abel's voice was calm, but Sarah's face was flashing through his mind, making his resolve waver slightly. Karron was so close to having that happen to him. Abel wasn't going to let it.

_Abel_ , the familiar gravelly voice sang, _don't be stupid_.

"I know what you're going to say and you're wrong," Abel straightened his posture, his resolve back in check, "This isn't cowardice. I have no choice."

_None that don't work out in_ my _benefit, you mean._

"Yes."

Abel looked out over the side of the bridge again.

_Long way down, Abel. It's gonna hurt._

The stream at the bottom beckoned him with the promise of an end. Abel's eyes welled up and his fists clenched at his sides. He stood on the edge. So close. Just do it. Abel could feel an invisible force trying to make him pull back.

"I won't let you control me anymore," he said, his own voice sounding more like a whimper than a statement of confidence in his ears. So close. Just do it!

_Don't Abel! Hell won't take pity on you._

"I don't care!" Abel pushed off the wood of the bridge.

It happened faster that he thought. Not like in the movies where there'd be a close-up on the actor's face as they fell in slow motion. He was so close to destroying this monster, but as the wind blew past Abel, he realized he didn't want to die. The Ripper screamed inside his head, cursing him until the moment the stream couldn't get any closer than it was.

Abel felt his back break.

_Thank God it's finally over_ , he thought as darkness clouded over his senses.

 

The faint feeling of something cold on his face woke Abel an hour later. He was chuckling -no, the Ripper was chuckling. It was a gurgled sound and it hurt. Everything hurt. The Ripper was laughing. Abel had failed.

"S-Sorry kiddo," said the Ripper, his voice strained, but cheerful. The snow softly fell on them. It was almost peaceful.

Abel tried to move his body, but the second he tried to raise his arm, pain shot up his shoulder. He inhaled sharply and relaxed back against the rocks. His legs were partially in the stream and were freezing. He didn't dare move them.

_How the hell are we still alive?_ Abel asked.

"How have I kept you alive this long in the first place?"

_You really are something... not human._

The Ripper chuckled again.

"Bingo."

_Then why so concerned about me jumping?_

The Ripper swallowed thickly and flinched.

"Human bodies are fragile. There's only so much I can do. It still hurts."

Abel wondered who was in charge right now. From what he could tell, both of them. Good.

"Abel don't-"

Abel made an attempt to sit up. He screamed and collapsed back. He moaned, tears running down his face.

"F-fucking told you..."

"Shut up!" Nausea overwhelmed Abel. The Ripper turned their body just in time for Abel to vomit.

Abel's head was spinning and he was tired. No, he couldn't sleep. Not with...

 

Abel Plenkov was awakened for the second time that night by a bright light shining in his face. Someone was talking to him, leaning over him.

Red and blue lights blurred his vision. He was moving... an ambulance!

"Sir! Can you tell me your name?" The paramedic asked him, his voice urgent.

"H... Help me," he managed to rasp before slipping into unconsciousness again.

 

Leah hated her little brother. She hated him just like everyone in Riverton hated her. Once she overheard a couple of adults speaking in hushed tones at a barbeque her 'mother' dragged her and her toddler brother to.

Leah seated herself behind the large tree in the back yard, book in hand. She preferred reading to having to play with her peers. They also tended to whisper behind her back.

"Poor May tries so hard," she heard. The voice sounded like it belonged to Mrs. Lanister, a middle-aged middle school teacher who lived right next door. Leah put her book down and crawled around the tree, keeping her head down so they wouldn't notice her.

Mrs. Dunkleman and Mrs. Lanister stood off to themselves in front of the tree, lemonade in hand.

"I think she should have given Leah up for adoption," commented Mrs. Dunkleman with a sneer.

"Oh please, Julie, she's still family."

"Yes, but that girl is a painful reminder not only to May, but to the whole town. She would have been better off in a foster home away from Riverton."

Eight year old Leah Plenkov jumped to her feet and walked around the tree to reveal herself. The women froze at the sight of her. Leah's wet eyes betray her angry expression she shot up at them.

"Oh Leah..." Mrs. Lanister began. Leah took off before she could finish.

 


End file.
